I've got a few daily photo posts to catch up on, but want to take a moment to acknowledge the day. Hoping everyone had a safe and healthy WDD2018.
The last few days have been busy! Baby and I have been out to all sorts of appointments this week. Methinks a carb ratio change is in order, as breakfast left me low and unable to drive for 3 days this week.
So we sit, patiently waiting for the juice to kick in.
It's late and I'm tired, so have a #bgnow, courtesy of my METER BG NOW alarm:
Good enough for overnight
A little bit late, but here's today's photo. I found this when changing my infusion site. I guess this explains why it hurt to bolus...
Today's photo is about hopefully learning from yesterday's not-bolusing mistakes:
That, in case you can't tell, is a new batch of brownies that are alllllmost done. I promised myself I'll remember to pre-bolus this time ;-).
Today is the first day of November, Diabetes Month. To highlight the ups and downs (lol) of living with diabetes, I'm participating in the daily photo challenge. Check out http://makediabetesvisible.com/ for more info.
For day 1:
Husband and I went out for a wonderful dinner at a friend's place. I bolused for dinner, everything was fine... then came dessert. Forgetting to bolus for a dessert brownie left me here:
6 unopened vials of Humalog. 2 unopened Humalog Kwikpens. 5 unopened Humalog penfills. 4 unopened Levemir penfills.
All of this went in the garbage today, the result of losing power and having all of my backup insulin hit room temperature in the tornado that hit my city a few weeks ago.
So many people lost so much. People lost their homes, their furniture and belongings. I am very thankful that my insurance plan covers 90% of the cost of insulin. I can restock my backup supply, and I feel so fortunate to be able to do that. My home, my family, my loved ones are all safe, and I won't be left struggling to pay for replacement bottles of this lifesaving drug. Just feeling grateful today.
It's been a long while, actually. 25 years to be exact.
I imagined I would spend this day just as I spend it every other year: angry, mostly, with a lot of sadness built in. Boy, was I pleasantly surprised.
I spent the day landscaping the front yard with the Hubs. It was almost 40° out, so a few hours out in the sweltering heat was pretty unpleasant.
The rest of my day was spent hanging out with my little guy. He turned 4 months old today!
I'm learning that it's hard to find time or motivation to be angry about something you can't change when you're at the centre of the world for this tiny, cuddly little boy who loves you so much and lights up every time you walk in the room. In a small(er than before) way I'm still devastated about my initial diagnosis, but today it seems like those feelings pale in comparison to the way I feel when I hang out with Husband and baby and remember that we made this family. I am so, so proud to have made it this far surrounded by so, so much love.
So I have to be honest. I got a few great days, maybe a week, out of my openaps system. Then I broke it.
I was mega-pregnant* and constantly exhausted, so I sort of gave up on it. I never tried to rebuild never tried for an automated system.
I am hooping that sometime over the next 9 months of mat leave, I manage to wrangle up something new. We'll see? I always thought myself capable of more, but apparently motherhood and t1d have, in combination, kicked the crap out of me.
*I was honestly probably only 3 of 4 months preggo, but the nausea felt like it had been going on for years. I threw up everything. sorry for exaggerating?
Happy to announce that my beautiful and very skilled (in yelling) son was born May 3rd. Less-than-happy to announce that diabetes has been a mess since then.
Part of me wants to aim for an a1c of 14 so that I can use the high BGs to burn fat (instead of carbs) and lose this baby weight.
Most of me hates the BG rollercoaster that comes along with breastfeeding.
I'm a part of a weekly therapy group that takes place at a local hospital, but most of the new moms are working on issues with bonding with newborns and working on relationships with their partners. When I described my issues (constant obsession with low bgs like I needed in pregnancy, low bgs after breastfeeding, feeling kind of like I'm dealing with a newborn baby and a newborn (and very , very angry) t1 dx) , the lead therapist suggested that I use the group therapy as a place to vent. This left me feeling like the group wasn't equipped to deal with medial issues :S.
Whether this is true- remains to be seen! I'll report back on whether the group can help me to work on healthcare issues instead of partner communication issues (my partner kicks ass. No problems there.).
My wonderful, adorable (yet constantly angry) baby is great, probably. Now if only by diabetes could let me feed him without napping bc my bgs are in the 2s. Like I said, It's a work in progress.