31
Jan

I did this to myself

I know I have no right to complain.
My site was on day 4, and as an upper-butt-cheek-infusion-set, it has seen quite a bit of wear over the last 4 days.

My 6-day-lifespan sensor was restarted and was on day 8.
I postponed changing my site and sensor last night. "It's wasteful to change a site when I still have a half-day of insulin left."   "The infusion set doesn't even hurt that much. I'll just sleep on my other side again tonight."     "That sensor worked so well for its first round! It will be fine for a few more days."
The lies we tell ourselves to justify not having to change a site. Not having to feel that jab, twice, as two devices are inserted for 3- and 6- day spans (or 5 and 10, if you tend to stretch out your supplies like I do). All of this led to me sitting at work this morning with a splitting headache and a thirst like you wouldn't believe (I'm at almost 2L of water so far. Been at work for just over 2 hours). Cal reminder alarm prompted me to check my BG and to be quite honest, I probably wouldn't have bothered if not for that alarm. My cgm had me at 8.4 and dropping, so I wasn't worried.
Still, though. I should calibrate.

Fingerstick, 18.6 (335 mg/dL).
Well, then.
Working on a set change with this kind of headache is challenging. I rip open an alcohol swab, then stop. Squint. Rub my aching temples. What was I doing? Oh, right. Syringe, wipe top of insulin bottle. Use now-disconnected pump to calculate the correction dose. Deliver correction.
Another alcohol swab. What was this one for? Wipe top of insulin bottle, feeling vaguely like I've already done this. Think back, pushing through the throbbing haze of red that clouds my head and makes coherent thought a distant memory. Aha! Yes, I did do this.
Do it again. Change infusion set. Charge transmitter. Replace sensor. Look at the mess of medical waste and wonder why I didn't do this yesterday.

Looks like I have some tidying to do...

4
Nov

13? Balderdash, says I!

Welcome, ladies and gents. It is November 4th, meaning that we are 4 day in to Diabetes Month.
For today, I would like to give you a glimpse into the frustration that comes along with this big ball of autoimmune-related shit called Diabetes.
Ketones start spilling out into urine at a BG of 13 mmol/L. This is a well-documented fact, check the American Diabetes Association or similar sites to confirm. 
So why, then, does a BG like this:

CGM reading of 12.8

CGM this morning


Confirmed via fingerstick:

BG meter value of 12.3

BG via meter


Produce ketones that look like THIS:?!

Ketone stick measuring high ketones

PURPLE ketone stick


Please excuse me, I'll be spending the rest of the day suppressing the urge to scream while mindlessly beating my head against a wall out of frustration.

7
Oct

Some things are best left unsaid

Dear Husband,
I know you are sick. You have been fighting game a sinus cold for days, and it seems truly miserable.  You're stuffed up, your head hurts, and when I turn on a light in the middle of the night, the brightness stuns you and makes your blinding headache that much worse.
I know all of this. I promise, I really do.

Thing is, with a blood sugar of above 33... at this moment in time, I am sick too.*
My head hurts. My stomach hurts. I am thirsty as fck but if I give in and chug back a ton of water, I know I will throw up from overdoing it on fluids. I can't have NO fluids though, since dehydration makes insulin work less efficiently, and I reeeeally want my insulin to work as well as possible right now.

I did a middle-of-the-night infusion set change, since the site I started before dinner seems like it's not working. My whole body feels puffy and swollen from drinking liters of water over the last few hours. I promise, you are not the only one who feels sick.
Yours is a special, acute kind of Sick though. You feel terrible now, whereas my type of sick is a chronic slow burn that spikes every so often, then goes back to lurking in the background.
I really am sorry for waking you up with my lights and beeping and swearing. I hope you feel better soon, love. And I really, truly do understand: it sucks to feel sick.

*The manufacturer for.my meter says that HI readings occur with a bg above 600mg/dl or 33.3 mmol/L. 

Glucometer manual here, if you feel like some light reading 

6
May

Still figuring out the exercise thing

I think I found one of the most uncomfortable feelings basically ever - or in the top 10 at least. It starts with a high blood sugar, but not too high - something around 13 or just over.

13, by the way, is high enough for your body to start producing ketones. Did you know this? I did not remember this. Could happen though. Differs for everyone, but it's still possible.

So let me get back to the least comfortable feeling ever. That feeling when you exercise and in order to exercise you set a lower temp basal so you can exercise safely, but then following your exercise, you spike because your temp basal was probably a little overkill. That's okay though, right? Better safe than sorry. Having BG sitting a bit higher, maybe 12-13, post-exercise is certainly preferable to mid-exercise lows.  (For me, anyways. Lows while I'm fighting traffic on my bike would be mildly unpleasant, probably.)

That post-exercise spike leaves you sitting at 13. You wait to correct the 13 because you're grocery shopping and picking up things for dinner, only by the time you get home your blood sugar of 13 has turned into 13 with  large fucking ketones.

And dinner? Forget dinner. Instead of dinner, you get to be thirsty as fuck while simultaneously fighting the urge to hurl back up all of the water you just chugged.  Fighting rather unsuccessfully, I might add.

Add to all of this the incredibly defeating feeling of failing at exercise, failing at diabetes, and the infuriating helplessness of the fact that THIS. IS. NOT. FAIR.

THAT, ladies and gentleman, makes my top 10 for most uncomfortable way to spend my Friday night.

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