14
Aug

Post-baby!

Happy to announce that my beautiful and very skilled (in yelling) son was born May 3rd. Less-than-happy to announce that diabetes has been a mess since then.

Part of me wants to aim for an a1c of 14 so that I can use the high BGs to burn fat (instead of carbs) and lose this baby weight.

Most of me hates the BG rollercoaster that comes along with breastfeeding.

I'm a part of a weekly therapy group that takes place at a local hospital, but most of the new moms are working on issues with bonding with newborns and working on relationships with their partners. When I described my issues (constant obsession with low bgs like I needed in pregnancy, low bgs after breastfeeding, feeling kind of like I'm dealing with a newborn baby and a newborn (and very , very angry) t1 dx) , the lead therapist suggested that I use the group therapy as a place to vent. This left me feeling like the group wasn't equipped to deal with medial issues :S.

Whether this is true- remains to be seen! I'll report back on whether the group can help me to work on healthcare issues instead of partner communication issues (my partner kicks ass. No problems there.).

My wonderful, adorable (yet constantly angry) baby is great, probably. Now if only by diabetes could let me feed him without napping bc my bgs are in the 2s. Like I said, It's a work in progress.

11
Aug

Misc thoughts that have been floating around

I've had a few thoughts and things that keep coming back. In no particular order:

  • We moved about a month ago. In the midst of unpacking and tidying, I've had a few lows that have fuelled house-cleaning rampages. These flurries of vacuuming, bleaching, etc are incredibly productive, if not particularly healthy.
  • Hoosband was away camping with friends about 3 weeks ago. I fired up the Minimed Connect and added my mom to the list of people to be alerted by text if I went low, since Hoobs wouldn't have any cell service. Night 2 of this camping trip, I had a bad overnight low and I woke up to my dad offering me a glass of juice. I really, truly thought I was in good shape and had a handle on my overnight blood sugars. Guess it just goes to show that things are never certain when it comes to diabetes. 
  • My mom came grocery shopping with me on my first shopping trip after the move. When I mentioned that I needed dish soap, she pulled me aside and solemnly explained how I should go for the soap with a flip-top instead of a pull-top, as the pull-top bottles tend to get all gummed up with soap. I ended up stifling a laugh as I told her that it is a new house, yes, but this is far from my first time buying dish soap. I know what I'm doing. Sort of.
  • I still haven't finished unpacking my pump supplies. I'll get to it... when the current box of infusion sets runs out.

Diabetes has been taking a backseat to the rest of Life lately. That should really change, soon.

14
Oct

Just dealing with it: easy, or not. Also, I get off-topic fairly easily.

I don't love anything overly simple.

I think if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

I'm not alone. Tons of self-help and self-awareness articles will quote the same damn thing... but advice re: diabetes tends to be sort of scarce, when compared to general health advice for otherwise healthy people

Here's some of mine. It comes not from clinical studies or analyses thereof; rather, from life experiences of a girl who's still here after 23+ years. Or something.

Most of my advice is stolen. Literally stolen. The best piece comes from Joe Solowiejczyk: "You don't have to like it, you just have to do it.+"
Nothing says that you have to love the tens or hundreds of daily things you do to stay alive. You still have to do them.
I still work on this. I haven't seen a therapist in a while, but when I did, it was largely focussed on how tf to do this. In all honesty, I've been debating returning for quite a while, and with the wedding behind me I don't really have much of an excuse for postponing. This is a necessary conversation.

This is all completely necessary stuff. It's a little more than the average person needs to do to stay alive, but still. Necessary.
That doesn't make it any easier to do.
I know I'm lucky. After a solid week of job cuts, I am still employed. I still have some of an insurance category re: physio, therapy, etc (alllll under the same group). I can talk, I can decompress, I can try to work things out.

With my own prophetized future of Adult Who Has Her Shit Together, don't I kind of owe to to my future self to sort her current self out?

(and other reasons why I have a current buzzing sort of anxiety)
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

 

 

 

+ I've had this quote pinned to my dresser for 3 or 4 years. I know it's from him, but I'm having a hell of a time figuring out where it came from. I believe here? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HNOOIhyU04 ++

++ Part of the "Managing Teenagers with Diabetes".

 

*Also, Kinnickinick bread the best grilled cheese** sandwich. Like holy shit, that bread is fluffy as fck, even after being frozen and retoasted. I'm sold. I think it's fantastic.
** the cheese is
daiya cheese. Remember? I'm also allergic to dairy. 'sok. I remember. Can't bloody forget...

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