31
Jan

I did this to myself

I know I have no right to complain.
My site was on day 4, and as an upper-butt-cheek-infusion-set, it has seen quite a bit of wear over the last 4 days.

My 6-day-lifespan sensor was restarted and was on day 8.
I postponed changing my site and sensor last night. "It's wasteful to change a site when I still have a half-day of insulin left."   "The infusion set doesn't even hurt that much. I'll just sleep on my other side again tonight."     "That sensor worked so well for its first round! It will be fine for a few more days."
The lies we tell ourselves to justify not having to change a site. Not having to feel that jab, twice, as two devices are inserted for 3- and 6- day spans (or 5 and 10, if you tend to stretch out your supplies like I do). All of this led to me sitting at work this morning with a splitting headache and a thirst like you wouldn't believe (I'm at almost 2L of water so far. Been at work for just over 2 hours). Cal reminder alarm prompted me to check my BG and to be quite honest, I probably wouldn't have bothered if not for that alarm. My cgm had me at 8.4 and dropping, so I wasn't worried.
Still, though. I should calibrate.

Fingerstick, 18.6 (335 mg/dL).
Well, then.
Working on a set change with this kind of headache is challenging. I rip open an alcohol swab, then stop. Squint. Rub my aching temples. What was I doing? Oh, right. Syringe, wipe top of insulin bottle. Use now-disconnected pump to calculate the correction dose. Deliver correction.
Another alcohol swab. What was this one for? Wipe top of insulin bottle, feeling vaguely like I've already done this. Think back, pushing through the throbbing haze of red that clouds my head and makes coherent thought a distant memory. Aha! Yes, I did do this.
Do it again. Change infusion set. Charge transmitter. Replace sensor. Look at the mess of medical waste and wonder why I didn't do this yesterday.

Looks like I have some tidying to do...

13
Apr

Bargaining?

I sometimes find myself negotiating with myself to downplay the gravity of my diabetes care. "Oh, I've been waking up high all week? ...Yeah, but yesterday I tidied the main floor AND vacuumed. PLUS, I emptied the garbage for the whole house this week so that Boyfriend didn't have to, because on garbage night he was out at his mom's place fixing that crack in the drywall beside the kitchen counter, so he would have been too tired to do the garbage, soo......yeah. I should get a pass on the diabetes thing. I'm obviously too busy to retest overnight basals."

 

"I wore an infusion set for 5.5 days last week? Yeah, BUT the DCM at work (A manager who is, I think, 5 or 6 managerial levels up above my boss) came to our office with a rush request on a Friday afternoon, so I stayed suuuuuper late on a Friday. I was crazy-efficient though! I produced everything that they needed for their meeting on Sunday!"

 

Or, my favourite, "I wore an infusion set for 5 days again? Well, that's 5-days-ago-Melody's fault. She shouldn't have filled the reservoir with enough insulin to last 5 days. She should've only filled it with 3 days' worth."

 

 

 

Sometimes I wish I knew some other actual, real-life diabetics, so I could figure out whether this is a thing we all do. I feel as though if others do it too, that makes it less bad. I'm sure there's a word for that.

4
Apr

When life gets in the way...

Lately things at home have been pretty hectic.

- We adopted two rabbits. They're adorable and precious, but litterbox-training baby rabbits is not an easy task. It involves a lot of urine-soaked newspaper...

- The dog got an eye infection. Then an ear infection. The the other ear...infected.

- He passed it on to the rabbit (so all 3 pets [2 rabbits; 1 dog] had to be separated, and one dog & one rabbit ended up on antibiotics)

- The dog then scratched his cornea and developed an ulcer in his eye. He's on meds every 3-4 hours over a two-week period, and for now he's stuck wearing his cone 🙁

- My lovely and wonderful best friend is getting married in a little over two months, and as her MOH I've been honoured and delighted to start planning a bridal shower and bachelorette. Also, wrangling friends and family members into planning sessions and coordinating details has, on occasion, left me just the teensiest bit frantic. Even more than that is the ridiculous idea that I need to pretend that I've got a solid handle on everything that's going on --  I'm not sure where this compulsive need to fake it is coming from, but the cool calm exterior that is presented (when in fact I'm tearing out my hair or panicking over details) to others involved in planning is proving a bit draining to maintain.

- Work has been insane. Like, insaaaane. I have, through the sheer luck of being the person who sits next to my group's manager, been tasked with updating some of our systems and processes on top of my regular work duties. It's been fun and challenging, and I've definitely been learning a lot as I go, but I admit it's been a uniquely challenging project.

- My elbow has been acting up. I'm on a waitlist for surgery on my ulnar nerve (that's the one that runs through two bones in your elbow), but I've got about another 6 months to wait, possibly longer. My symptoms have been ramping up over the last two weeks, leaving me trying to balance managing pain with my desire to actually use my hand. More on that later, but to sum it up, it's been making itself increasingly noticeable over the past little while, and nerve-blocking meds are no longer helping.

 

It feels very strange to look back over the last few weeks. Diabetes has actually taken a backseat to the drama of everyday life, and this feels very...strange. My Carelink reports show that I'm trending higher than I'd like, and to be completely honest I haven't done much about it. I know I have an upcoming endo appointment in about a week, and I know she'll make recommendations for changes in my basal and bolus ratios. Does that absolve me of any responsibility to review my data and make changes in response to what I see? Well....no. It does make it easier to just wait to let someone else make the changes, though. Lately it just feels like life has been too busy to let diabetes be as important as it should be, and my Carelink reports are proving that my diabetes care is suffering. I hope that this upcoming appointment can serve as the kick in the butt that I need in order to prioritize my health again, at least for a little bit.

28
Sep

Preparing for the JDRF Ride 2013

So last October I walked past an event in the lobby of the building where I work. This isn't unusual; the plaza on the main floor is huge and events are hosted there year-round. This one caught my attention though - I saw JDRF posters, so I stopped to take a look at what was going on. I saw stationary bikes spread out all over the lobby, with workout-gear-clad people stopping by registration tables, and teams of enthusiastic individuals cheering on their colleagues and friends who were riding the stationary bikes. Naturally, I was intrigued...

I looked it up few days later and found out all about the JDRF ride, and decided to try to get involved next time it came around. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, I realized that this year's Ride was fast approaching and I should start planning 😀

I called my local JDRF office to ask whether individuals can participate without a team, and was told that they don't recommend it. The rep said that someone from my workplace was involved with the JDRF though, and offered to approach this individual for me and ask whether he would want to join me. To sum up what would otherwise be a long (and fairly boring) story, I spoke to a few people and have three "probablys" who have told me that they will ride with me on a team this year. I created my workplace's team (I'm a team capitain!) a few days ago, and now I'm just waiting for my coworkers to register so I'm not the only team member :P.

I'm sort of excited, although there's definitely a part of me that worries that, since my coworkers haven't actually registered yet, they might change their minds and decide not to participate, so I would be biking the whole hour on my own... & I'm semi-fit but I still think that I would find that pretty challenging. I also haven't started telling the rest of the office that I'm riding, since I feel like it's strange to call it a "workplace team" when I'm the only one registered. I want my future (hopefully) teammates to sign up online so I can start passing the team page along to others in my workplace!


 

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